Temporarily - Experiencing - Systems - Troubles Track

Hi Humans, It's your favorite Evil Emperor reporter Zurg.

The cast includes Zurgswife, Kelley 10, a pair of Buzzes 8 and 7 (but the younger buzz wants to be Quail Kid), and Her Royal Majesty Delaney - Snow White - Cinderella - Jessie - Maleficent (DSWCJM) 3.

Buzz I is a good sport He knew he could have gotten on stage in ACT VI but he didn't and he is happy for his brother. Normally, Evil Emperor are less than thrilled with this kind of goody two shoes behavior. All I can say is the magic must be effecting me. Zurg decides Buzz I should be rewarded with a fishing trip. He loves to fish but Zurg is no fisherperson. Nice thing about Disney, whip out the room card and anything is possible. (Zurg finds valium helps when checking out too.)

The next morning Zurg tries to signs up the Buzz I up for the kids fishing cruise. Zurg dials WDWPLAY from the room just like the brochure says. He doesn't call the Boardwalk Community Hall because, when Zurg got the brochure there, they were crystal clear that reservations for kid's fishing were to be made at WDWPLAY. So naturally WDWPLAY can't make a reservation the day of the trip and Zurg has to dial the Boardwalk Community Hall.

Buzz I thinks Buzz II should come too. (This nice guy space ranger stuff is getting out of hand.) The boat leaves at 10:00. Since we got up early, we decide to stroll to Epcot to see if Test Track is up. It isn't and Zurg for one is SHOCKED! OK not really but they say it will be running at 8:30. We get fastpasses and visit Mouse Gears. Zurg sneaks off for coffee. Nothing like a little caffeine.

TT comes up and we head over. Zurg's coffee, is too hot to drink so it waits on the stroller. Last trip, when she just reached the height limit, DSWCJM rode everything, Splash Mountain and Test Track were her favorites.

For the last six months every night at dinner Zurg was either swooping a fork down an imaginary Splash Mountain or orbiting DSWCJM's head with a Test Track bite. This trip she has refused to ride on either.

This morning Belle has some how got DSWCJM to agree to ride. But now the Buzzes don't want to go afraid they will literally miss boat. Zurg assures them there is PLENTY of time to ride and walk back for the fishing trip.

It is 8:55. Where is Zurg's cynicism? (Hint - In his coffee cup. Zurg isn't properly caffeinated and won't be)

T.E.S.T. Track! Temporarily, Experiencing, Systems, Troubles Track.

We experience them just as we come back inside from the high-speed run but well before the unloading point. We do get a good look at our thermal image, the spider webs and some other interesting wear on the building you don't see if you just zip by.

It isn't a total bust, the Buzzes are starting to display their heredity, evil is in their eyes and it is aimed at Zurg.

At 9:50 we exit the ride. The fishing boat leaves Boardwalk Community Hall at 10:00. Fortunately we are not with our WDW rookie - gift shop - sucker friends that slowed Zurg down in ACT VI. Zurg hits full stride well before the gift shop and is marching the Buzzes like a US Mairne drill sergeant drives new recruits. We discover that at double time march, Community Hall is 9 minutes 43 seconds from Test track.

There is one other kid on the boat, Stephen. He's from Philly too. Zurg thinks he is using the Jedi Mind Trick to be invited aboard by the fishing guide. Later Zurg realized the Fishing Guide is Jedi Master. Getting Zurg on the boat meant playing 2 on 3 zone defense and for the Jedi Master that was much better odds 3 on 1. Yoda sucked Zurg on board faster than the Mouse got Zurg's money.

Yoda baited lines, and Zurg ducked as the boys cast. Zurg had imagined fishing to be a quiet Zen-like experience. Normally it may well be but not with 7 & 8 year-old boys, hot-dogs
for bait and Disney birds.

The boys caught some blue gills, a couple of bass and one bird. Disney birds love hot dogs. I think the Tiki birds would pull the nails out of their perches if someone walked in with a dog. Buzz II carefully baits his hook winds up and casts. One of the black flying rats grabs it in mid air and flies off with it to the dock paying out line as he goes. Buzz is stunned. Given the brazen daylight robbery, Zurg considers a new mascot but urges the boy to reel the line in. The bail and hook fall into the water. Buzz II tells stories about the one that got away by flying and leave fishing veterans thinking that at least their fishing lies are possible if improbable.

Zurg regrets the evil black creature that got away.

The ride operators at TEST Track probably feel the same way about Zurg.