Now it’s time to say good-bye to all our company…
But I don’t want to leave. I want to stay.
I lay in bed waiting for the phone to ring for the last time.
I forgot to call the wake up service and Mickey isn’t a mind-reader.
I really didn't want to leave without hearing Mickey one more time
so I called the wake-up service and had them ring us a ½ hour later.
They did and I felt as good as I could on our last day in Disney.
Del and I got up to get dressed and to pack. I am a compulsive room
searcher and was completing my third check of between the pillow
case and pillow check (you never know, something could be in there,
right?) when Nikki knocked on our door.
I opened it and immediately closed it in her face. Sorry, too hot
out there for me.
“Mummah! Open the door!” She yelled and banged on the door.
Nope, sorry, it’s not going to happen. Try again later.
After I had locked Del and me out of our room, Nikki and I had
swapped rooms keys. She had access to my room; there was no need for
me to be subjected to that heat storm again.
A minute or two later, she used our room key and came in our room to
collapse on our bed. “So hot, so very, very hot out there.” She
said, looking a bit pale.
It was the 4th of July. I had no plans to go to the Magic Kingdom,
but I had considered going to MGM or the Animal Kingdom. In light of
the massive heat storm outside however, plans changed.
My Brother always said “God loves it when you make plans. It gives
him a giggle.”
“Can’t we just pool-it until we have to leave?” Nikki asked.
I didn't know if we could. We had to check out by 11:00 am, so I
didn't know if we would be considered trespassers after that. I
already risked being arrested for disturbing the peace with the van
alarm before; I didn't want to chance it. I called the front desk
“Of course you are allowed to stay and swim until your flight
leaves. You do have to vacate the room however. But for your
convenience, the bathrooms near the pool have showers.” She said.
They did that for MY convenience? Gee, they didn't have to go to all
that trouble, but I certainly do I appreciate it.
We finished packing and I was searching high and low for my cell
phone. That phone had been part of my person for the entire trip; I
couldn't imagine where it had gone. I only put it down to go in the
I’m sure of that because when I was pulling an ass muscle doing
back-flips I didn't have it.
“Can I use your phone?” I asked Del.
“No.” He said.
“Seriously? I want to call my phone so I can find it.” I explained
“You should have thought of that before you started making a habit
out of licking mine. I’ll call it for you.” He said and called my
My phone has different rings for each crew member.
Bea’s is Donald’s voice saying ‘A message? Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!’
Nikki’s is Tigger saying “T-I-double gu-er. That spells tigger!”
Chris is Buz Light-year saying “INCOMING COMMUNICATION! THAT MUST BE
STAR COMMAND WITH OUR NEXT MISSION!”
We were waiting to hear “Shake it, shake it, shake it like a
We weren’t shaking and I was getting worried. “Maybe you left it in
the van.” Del said.
“Left it in the van? No way, I wouldn’t have done that. I am careful
with my phone.” I said to him.
Del took my hand and shook it “Nice to meet you, I’m Del. I know
what you do to electronic equipment. You drop it, jam it in your
back pocket and use it in the rain. Why
wouldn’t you leave it in the
“It’s NOT in the van!” I said before grabbing the keys and marching
out to the parking lot.
Damn it, there it was on the floor near the gas pedal.
He put it there, didn't he?
The phone spent the night and some of this morning locked in the van
on the floor, next to the gas pedal.
The freaking thing was 350 degrees when I picked it up. You could’ve
cooked a Mickey waffle on it.
Using my shirt because I couldn't hold it, I opened to see if I had
any missed calls. I did, six of them from numbers I didn't recognize
and one from Del. If you were one of those calls, I’m sorry I missed
it. That’s what happened though.
Still holding it my shirt because it was so hot, I went back to our
room and tossed it to Del. “Holy crap!” He yelled when he caught it,
and then tossed it on the bed.
You can drop it, jam it into your back pocket, use it in the rain
and cook it, and it will
I think I should get paid from Sprint for taking time out of my life
to conduct so many tests for them. I may write them a letter.
We put of our freezing bathing suits. I stepped outside where Del
and Curt were standing and talking. “Jeesh! The suits are so cold,
if you don’t wear a shirt over it, your nipples will show!” Del said
when I came out the door.
I NEVER wear a bathing suit without a shirt. I am well past that
stage of my life.
“Thanks Del. Curt just looked at my chest to see if my nipples were
showing.” I said.
We are such awful people.
Curt’s eyeballs nearly shot out of his head and his jaw hit the
floor. “I did not! No, no. Really, I didn’t. Oh my God!” He
stammered before bolting into his room to get Nikki.
Too bad it was at the end of the trip when I found out my nipples
embarrass Curt. I could have had fun with that.
We pulled out luggage outside the doors, minus a bag with a change
of clothes for after the pool. Curt wouldn’t look at me at all.
I went to get the van and pull it up to the curb so the mighty
luggage handlers could use their formulas and load it.
Nikki and Curt celebrated the formula with a kiss.
Once the van was loaded, I pulled it into the parking lot closer to
the front desk and nearly died walking back to the room.
I can handle an ice storm; I can’t take a heat storm.
The plan was to go get breakfast at the food court, THEN go for a
swim, but by the time I got back to the room to collect my family, I
was 2 seconds away from being a puddle on the sidewalk.
Swim first, eat after. I can’t eat when I am busy dieing anyway.
We hopped into the pool that felt like bathwater. I knew there was
such a thing as a heated pool, but that doesn’t make much sense in
Florida, if you asked me. I don’t know if the pool is heated or is
the sun was slowly boiling the water. Either way, it wasn’t quiet as
refreshing as I had hoped.
We were just slowly simmered in a fine broth of stranger sweat.
Paints a pretty picture, doesn’t it?
Wet, but not truly cooled off, we went to the extreme air
conditioning of the food court to get some Mickey waffles.
The line was unreal, but I
would have spent the rest of the day in it to have one more (okay,
two) order(s) of Mickey waffles before I went back to Maine where we
are lacking such a treat.
Besides, you just can’t beat air conditioning while wearing a wet
I didn't want to leave the food court when we finished eating but
Del explained to me that Em was ‘shaking like a small dog shitting
Gee, that sounded pretty serious. Like a Beagle, a Chihuahua or a
We went to the Hippity-Dippity pool to swim for a while. The water
spraying out of the flower-showers was cooler than the pool and
there was a bunch of us trying to get under them.
All Northerners, I’m sure.
Time was ticking and we had to start thinking about getting in the
van to go to the airport. I told Nikki we could take a shower before
we left because Pop provided showers for my convenience.
I still can’t get over that. How did they know I would be there
needing a shower?
I had to go back to the van to get some shampoo and soap. I didn't
think about leaving it out and soon found out that that was an
The first reason it was a mistake was the entire time we had been
staying at Pop, there was a car with a U-Haul trailer on the back of
it that I had been using as a land-mark to find the van in the other
parking lot. I lost the freaking thing.
Okay, you’re on to me. I cheated.
The second reason it was a mistake was that the windows were rolled
up and when I found the van, it looked swollen.
Lots of ugly heat trapped in
I opened the doors to start screwing up the van-packing formula to
find the soap and shampoo. By the time I got out of the van, I was
pretty sure I was going to faint.
I left the windows open. I had too; there would be no way we could
get into the van if I didn't.
“You left the windows open? Your cameras are in there. Aren’t you
afraid they will be stolen?” Del asked.
Look, if anyone could hold on to my hot cameras long enough to steal
them, then they earned them. Besides, if I left them to cook in the
hot van, they would probably be junk anyway.
And most importantly, I forgot they were in there and if I walk back
to get them, I will not survive. As much as I like my cameras, they
weren’t worth dieing for.
The bathroom next to the Hippity-Dippity pool
did have two showers in it
for my convenience. Nikki and I went into them to clean up before
getting ready to head for the airport.
Standing in front of the showers, you have the first curtain you
step into for the changing area, then the second curtain for the
actual shower. Nikki went into the first one and changed, then
stepped into her shower. Once she finished with the shampoo, I
stepped into her changing area to get the bottle of shampoo she was
holding through the crack of her curtain.
Privacy in our family is priority one.
I had to wait a couple minutes for a lady in the other shower to
finish up before stepping in myself. I undressed but left my sandals
on, because stepping on a public restroom floor,…well, it’s just not
going to happen.
Minding my own business, taking my shower, I heard a woman on the
outside of the curtains. She was talking to someone. “Oh, LOOK! They
have showers in here!”
Meet Peeping Tina. I heard my first curtain whip open and my natural
reaction was to grab my shower curtain on each side and try to keep
it from opening.
Peeping Tina is very strong. She yanked on one side of my curtain to
show her two little kids that, yes, the sound of running water
behind the curtain was NOT a waterfall but in fact, an actual
working shower with an actual naked person inside it.
Those kids were going to need counseling now and its all Peeping
“Excuse me! Do you mind?” I yelled at Peeping Tina, still fighting
her to keep my curtain closed.
“Isn't this wonderful, children?” Peeping Tina continued. “Showers
in the ladies room!”
She let go of my curtain and left me to be alone, naked and wearing
I heard the sound of Nikki’s dressing room curtain being ripped
“DON’T OPEN IT! DON’T OPEN IT! DON’T **SCREECH!**”
Peeping Tina opened it.
“WHAT THE HELL?! IS INDOOR PLUMING A NEW CONCEPT TO YOU?!” Nikki
Peeping Tina, still enthusiastic about the showers, said to her kids
“Isn't this great? Think of the time we could save!”
What?! Are you getting in here with us?
If she or one of her kids tried to get into the shower with me or my
daughter, I was going to call a cop.
I was scrambling to get dressed. I thought I made pretty good time
until I heard Nikki on the other side of the wall open her curtains
then say “Oh, for the love of God”.
My bra was twisted and my shirt was on backwards when I came out of
my curtains. I had to see what was happening to my daughter. I
didn't see Peeping Tina when I came out, but her kids were in the
Nikki was standing outside the curtains, with a completely disgusted
look on her face. “Mom! That woman...”
She started to say.
“I know, she did it to me too.” I said while trying to straighten
out my clothes, “Let’s just finish getting out of here before she
starts taking pictures for her scrapbook.”
Nikki’s shower was still running.
“You didn't shut off the water?” I asked. Nikki was standing in
front of me, still looking disgusted.
“Would you listen to me?” she said and grabbed me by the shoulders,
looked me in the eyes and continued “That woman got naked and stood
in front of my changing room. She seems to think that is where the
I gave myself chest pains holding in the laughter.
We went back outside to meet the guys who were sitting at a table
chatting. We hadn’t even gotten all the way to the table when Nikki
was telling them about our indecent exposure.
Nikki was taking this much worse than I was. I got my boobs out in
the Boardwalk Bakery, I’ve been exposed before. It was becoming
While we were telling them about Peeping Tina, she came out of the
bathroom and walked past us with her two kids trailing behind her.
“There she is. That’s her.” We whispered to the guys.
Peeping Tina had beautiful fire-engine red hair. Del leaned over and
asked (because all guys want to know) “Does the rug match the
“I don’t know” Nikki said “She had Brazilian flooring put in.”
I was crying from laughing so hard. “Well” Del said “Sounds like
you’re even. She saw you, you saw her.”
Ah, no. She saw us, Nikki saw her then I told a few hundred of my
Now, we are even.
We headed to the food court to grab a small snack for the ride to
the airport. We loaded the rest of our belongings and stood in the
parking lot for hours (Okay, okay. Minutes, but it felt like hours)
to wait for the air conditioner to do something.
Everything seemed perfect as we drove down the road until about a
mile from the airport I remember that I was supposed to put gas in
Crap, crap, crap.
I got off the freeway and took a wrong turn to a gas station so I
had to perform to ‘L’s again (not a ‘U’ turn, that might be illegal
in Florida, I don’t know) and pulled into the station.
This was making us late. I had timed everything perfectly so we
would be at the airport early and now we were going to be lucky to
get there on time.
Good thing I had faster-acting drugs. I would have no time to waste
waiting for a pill.
We got to the airport and returned the van. Nikki climbed in the
back to reach a suitcase and when she got out, she had a fish-hook
sticking out of her leg.
It was rusty too. I freaked.
Curt, the hunting-veterinarian, pulled it out of her leg and
examined her injury. He assured me that she had a recent tetanus
shot because they are needed to attend college.
But my baby has a boo-boo.
I think that was where I realized that this was between them now.
I’m the momma, and always will be, but HE is her knight in shining
armor and I was going to have to let her go. He held her hand while
he pulled the fish hook out of her leg, wiped the blood off and gave
her a kiss.
Curt, you take good care of her, okay. Welcome to the family, we are
thrilled to have you. Thank you for coming with us. We had a blast.
We got into the longest line so far to check our luggage. I was
nervous about the weight, but Curt picked each piece up and told me
what he thought they weighed.
He was with-in two or three pounds. That’s quite a talent.
We got into line for security and I handed the lady our tickets and
“You four go in this line and madam you go into that one.” The guard
pointed to the lines while instructing us to split up.
I wasn’t even a little
surprised. It is SO obvious that I am a terrorist, I don’t know what
ever made me think I could go through security without being mauled.
I’m on a list; I just KNOW I’m on a list.
Since 9-11 I have only gotten to go through security with my family
exactly once and that was on the flight from Boston to Orlando on
And on the way here, I set off the alarm because I forgot my cell
phone was in my back pocket. They gave me a chance to behave myself
and I blew it.
So, I’ve done the full check a couple times now, and I am very
familiar with the routine. I dropped my carry-on and backpack on the
belt and walked under the thing that I set off every time I walk
“Step back please and empty your pockets.” The guard told me.
Shit, cell phone in my pocket again.
I put my cell phone in a bowl and sent that down the belt and walked
under that thing again. (For the life of me, I can’t think of what
it would be called.) When I didn't set off the alarm again, I held
my arms out to be wand-ed.
“Have you done this before?” The lady with the wand asked.
“Couple times, why do you people think I am going to do something to
a plane that my family is on?” I asked “Do I have ‘crazy terrorist’
written on my forehead or something? Do I smile like a terrorist?”
“Your ticket is marked. The airline flagged you. Did you piss them
off or change your ticket?” She asked.
“Uh well, both, actually.” I said.
Screw you Song. I have my drugs and I’m getting on this flight.
It’s really very uninteresting what happened. They over charged my
credit card for my airline tickets and had changed mine so they
could refund the difference. I had to go through two supervisors to
After my wand-ing, I went over to the rug with the foot prints on it
to stand. “Would you prefer a man or woman to conduct this search?”
“Can I have Brandon Frasier?” I asked.
No, the choice is man or woman, not a
specific man or woman.
She held up her hands in front of me, showing me the back of her
hands. “I am going to pat you down with the back of my hands. I will
be using JUST the back of my hands. If you feel uncomfortable at any
time, please tell me and I will stop.”
“Look,” I said “I am pushing 40, I’m chubby, sweaty and covered in a
heat rash. There is a good chance my deodorant has let me down. If
you are still willing to touch me with either side of your hands,
knowing these things, I welcome
your advances. Okay?”
She laughed and said they were going to give me the VIP treatment.
She conducted her search and I thanked her for it.
“Please don’t touch that” The guard said when walked over to the
belt to collect my things. “There is something inside your bag that
we feel needs to be investigated.”
“She’s a VIP, Brian. What is it?” My new girlfriend asked.
Yeah Brian, what is it? Don’t you know I am a VIP?
Brian and another guard started pulling things out of my carry-on
bag. A magazine, a pack of cigarettes, matches, a package of gum, my
passporter and my sunglasses were littering the counter. They
stopped searching, gave me the all clear and walked away.
I started laughing and told my new girlfriend how much I wished my
husband had been carrying the carry-on instead of my laptop.
“Why?” She asked and looked into the bag.
Apparently a tampon will get you searched.
I told her the camera bag story and how Del has a huge fear of
feminine hygiene products and how stupid that was because obviously
they weren’t for him. She said she was going to do that to her
husband the next chance she got and was still laughing in my
direction when I met back up with the crew.
So Del THAT is what was so funny over in my area. I told you I would
tell you later and this is later.
Love ya, Mean it. There’s one more person who knows what freaks you
We barely made our flight. They were finishing loading when we came
running up to the gate. (You can run in an airport, they don’t have
CM’s) We got on and were handed the type of earphones that you have
to stick into your eardrum.
I would like to thank my Dr. for giving me that new faster-acting
(instant) drug. If I had to wait 20 minutes for Xanax, I would’ve
jumped out of the plane.
Del has a lot of trouble with his ears. Once we were in the air, he
couldn't use the earphones. I opened my carry on and gave him the
headset I got off Jet Blue.
Jet blue doesn’t want them back after you have had them on your
ears. They cost the airline .80 each. You can keep them, I asked.
I’m torn between the airlines now. Both were excellent. Song sells
food on the plane that was amazingly good.
But Jet blue will give you all the snacks you want. They never say
Both have T.V’s. I love that.
Del observed that the person who made such a mess out of my ticket
and turned me into a terrorist was ‘number than a pounded thumb’,
but the flight crew was excellent.
I agreed and so did Em.
For 20 minutes.
I almost slipped her a pill so she would shut up about it.
We landed in Boston and collected our luggage then stood outside.
“What now?” Del asked.
Oh, that was a really good question. I took drugs when I got on the
Logan Park ‘n Go van, so I had no clue where to start looking for my
truck. What did the van driver tell me to do?
Did he get a chance to tell me anything? I think I did most of the
Wait! Didn’t he hand me a ticket?
I dug around in the carry-on until I found my passporter. I opened
it and looked in the little pockets until I found a ticket.
The golden ticket!
It had a phone number on it to call if you couldn't find the Park ‘n
Go van, so I did. The lady I spoke to was wicked nice and send me a
van in minutes. When I handed the ticket to the van driver, he knew
exactly where my truck was and dropped us off right behind it.
Logan Park ‘n Go rocks!
The guys loaded the luggage using the formula and we pulled out of
the parking lot. At the payment booth, the man gave me directions
back to the state of Maine.
You’d think an entire state would be easy to find, but I still took
a wrong turn somewhere and it took us over three hours to get home.
It was the scenic route, I told the crew. Course there wasn’t much
to see at midnight.
This trip was a huge success. It was the first one where we didn't
end up having a huge fight at some point (oh, yes. We do have
fights. I just don’t talk about it), welcomed a new member to our
family and we weren’t completely exhausted and miserable.
Take your time and relax. Do your homework and set small goals.
Remember to enjoy your family and make as many magical memories as
Someday, that’s all you’ll have.
**Back at Orlando Airport**
Me: Please guys, one more picture. Just this last one and I promise
not to take anymore. I need it for the ending of Lou’s thread.
Del: Robin, its 800 degrees outside. Make it a quick one, okay?
(Crew slowly and reluctantly walks back outside into the heat
Me: Okay, Del, do this with your hand.
(Wobin makes an ‘L’ in sign language.)
(Del makes an ‘L’)
Me: Em, give me a surfer wave.
(Em makes a ‘Y’ in sign language.)
Nikki: Oh! I know what you’re doing!
(Nikki shows Curt how to make an ‘I’ while she makes ‘M’)
I take my last picture of the trip.
The crew gathers around the cell phone to see the picture. “What are
we doing?” Del asks.
“Love ya, Mean it!” Nikki yells. “Awww, mom. I love ya, I mean it
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. This last chapter
was the hardest to finish. I had the rest of the report written and
only had to fill in some blanks on this one when Hurricane Katrina
ripped apart the Gulf Coast states.
My heart hurts so much for the people affected by this disaster.
You are welcome to share this story with your family and friends as
long as no profits are made. I want no-one to make money; I just
want people to raise money. I only ask that if you can, please
donate to one of the charities I listed in my other thread.
If you already have, thank you. Thank you so very, very much.
If you can’t donate money, I ask that you maybe drop off some can
food at a shelter, listen to a friend who needs a shoulder to cry on
or simply say a prayer.
I just ask that you do something, anything.
Thank you to Bennet and Kimball Dunlap for everything they have done
for me, providing me a home on their website, Pins for Cures, making
my index and being my friends.
Thank you to Lou for being a good sport when I dumped the photo
report on him without telling him first. I really appreciate the
work you put into it Lou, and enjoyed it a great deal. There are
some pictures and video there that I didn’t use in the report. The
only reason for that is I hate adding the tags. I am a lazy ‘HTML’-er.
You can see it here.
Thank you to Dan for helping me with my links and video, for letting
me take over his trophy room, for having a place for us all to
become friends and allowing me to raise money for some very worthy
And finally, thank YOU.
M-I-C, see ya real soon, K-E-Y, why? Because we LY/MI! M-O-U-S-E
© Robin Costello 2005, All Rights Reserved
Cures and Wobin’s Trip Reports