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Survivor Longa-Walka-Hallway
Episode VII  

The Unseen Ones

There is definitely a new alliance in the tribe. The diabetics are hanging out and talking in whispers. This could be a dangerous voting block at Tribal Council. They can play the sympathy card even better than Johnny Fair Play’s faked grandma death.

Connor is taking his responsibilities as the older brother very seriously. While Zurgswife and I are a little shell shocked by Delaney’s diagnosis, Connor is just plain excited. He is happily sharing blood meter tricks and is there every time she does a blood test as the resident expert on how to get a big drop of blood out of what seems like too small a pin prick.

The kid is very good at this. But then he’s done it fifteen hundred times in the last year. Delaney is into the novelty of it all, as well as all of Connor’s attention. Both will wear off but for now both help. He taught her to do her own testing with in a day of the diagnosis. I was impressed, with both.

Diabetes very quickly became a side issue to Delaney. Playing full speed at Disney was the primary mission so on with the shoe, err… show.

Kim had talked to our new buddy Alfonso at the front desk. He had done some magic calling up the chain of command. If Epcot could reschedule the Segway thing, they would, otherwise we’ll get a credit back.

Nice moves dear. Once again the Cast Members you see face to face to come through big.

With the diabetes crisis relatively resolved it is back to normal. For us that is up early and out the door to the Magic Kingdom. Bus service from Boardwalk to MK is great – forget what ever you read anyplace else, it is wrong. They changed the routes - the MK bus is, oh here is one now, is great. An empty bus show up – we pile on over to the Swan and Dolphin and off to MK.

We arrive well before the park opens and that was by design. We head for a short queue and shout a hello to a favorite Cast Member. We look her up every visit. We chat away with this one particularly wonderful CM, she knows us and we know her.

Her daughter is in college now. Great! – We say, and chat about college life from a parents view.

Ours little daughter is getting over some traumatic news. Too Bad – she says, and we chat about relatives that have similar issues. 

Chatting up CM skills is one thing all the commando guide books over look. Well that makes sense they are too much into commando mode to stop to chat. Not us. In a very buried and in need of updating tips page on BadShoe. (So old we had only been there SIX times!) We say:
Talk with cast members they know the place better than anyone and have good tips.

We know this CM has a secret identity. Her alter ego has super powers, the ability to pick families for goodies, like opening the Magic Kingdom. Unfortunately like, kryptonite and superman, even her powers are limited by the rules of the unseen ones.

There are too many of us to do the big open. Seems the Mouse has a quota and a family of six is too big.  The unseen executive types think that the perfect family is Mom, Dad and two kids, possibly a third as long as it stays a baby. Or some variation of family parts that ad up to the same body count.

These must be the same people who came up with DVC occupancy rules, 4 to a studio unless it is a studio plus and one stays a baby.

In my humble opinion we are a much better family having Delaney and Connor along for the ride. The unseen ones idea of perfect family is a fine example of their fatuousness, a word that here means ludicrous folly.

The Emperor takes one for the team and suggests that there are better camera angles from down here anyway, without him how do the numbers look?

They look like the Dunlaps are opening MK. That’s how they look.

Incredible!

Thanks **! [ Editors note: Like all Incredibles her identity must remain a secret.] We can’t have millions of BadShoe.com readers hunting her down and harassing her, it would put her in a tough spot (and one never knows if they will need a super hero again!)

So Zurgswife and the Zurgetts are taken up Main Street in the Fire Truck. Zurg heads out front to plot his shots.  This Rocks! We have opened MK before but not the big, get on the train with Mickey, deal. This is cool.

The kids get some quality time with Mickey et al.

I take my picture taking seriously enough to thing about light, back ground and stuff like that until the time comes and then I just fire away. There I am, getting in the picture taking Zone and someone starts talking to me.

What? Where am I? Oh Yeah, I was in the Zone! I’m taking pictures, back into the Zone. No they insist they know me, which is highly unlikely in my opinion. One of the things I like about WDW is being anonymous in a big crowd.

Nope this person knows me and looks real familiar too but I have no clue who it is because I am in the Zone, anonymous.

I covered this didn’t I? We Supers have alter egos, where we can hide our true super power identity and be anonymous. Evil Emperor Zurg gores to Disney in his alter ego, anonymous, to relax and get away from the pressures of the Empire.

“Hey Zurg, remember me from the Cape last summer?”

DANGER – IDENTITY COVER BROKEN!! - DANGER
Friend/foe warning ON!

There is an explanation for what ever I did, I am sure.  Let me think one up. I’ll go with a classic; Buz brought beer and I was just being a pal and helping him drink it! (It seems that blaming Buz is the In Thing to do in trip reports this season. That is Buz@BadShoe.com nice guy send him and email and ask him about the virtual bartender)

Just to be safe I drop into my Fifth Amendment rights, remain silent. Well it turns out to be Alisha. Friend/foe warning OFF. She’s a friend. Alicia and I watch Zurgswife and the Zurgetts come in on the train.

Disney promises us a FREE 5x7 memory of the event. They have a Photo Pass photographer on hand the capture the moment and have us pose for a pictures afterwards with Mickey.

Later, when we went to get our free 5x7, they would claim the pictures were “Lost,” but they miraculously show up for sale on-line at PhotoPass, after the free offer expires. Zurg, as a connoisseur of mischievous deeds, is impressed with the organization it takes to make a coincidence like that happen! Some unseen executive probably had to lay off the staff of Carousel of Progress to cover the bonus they gave themselves thinking that little money maker up.

I can just hear the un-seen one pitch the idea, “See will take tons of pictures and say were going to give them one, but when they come back for the free one we’ll have the staff say all the pictures from that camera are lost, then if they happen to stumble on to PhotoPass, they will see them and have to buy the one we were going to give them! Somehow that will make guests buy more! -  I need a bonus so fire everyone at Carousel of Progress and give me their pay!”

I don’t get it either but that is the way un-seen executives think. They can think this way because nobody ever sees them and they never see any guest. As a result they don’t even know that guest actually do go to the parks and ride things like Carousel of Progress.

We tried to ride Carousel of Progress that day. I love it. It is New York Worlds Fair – Walt - old school - cool.

It was broken. There were Cast Members there, so maybe they paid the unseen executives bonus by cutting the maintenance people. Carousel of Progress didn’t work, To Bad.  

Hey Kelly Rippa, (I am sure she’s a big fan of Robin and the Emperor’s trip reports,) next year insist on riding Carousel of Progress as part of the parade taping. What with all the NY Worlds Fair roots it will be great TV! Trust the Emperor. (Maybe then they will fix it.)

We play around in the parks for a while and Alicia joins in the madness. Any trip to MK requires two efforts to find CMs.

One - We look for the fictitious Safari Steve. He is vapor, a good story but not real. Once again he ain’t there - don’t bother looking. I am now convinced that he doesn’t exist.

Two – we look for our favorite Safari skippers Regan, Jenny and Rhonda. They all happen to be the same person.

All three of her were taped with Wayne Brady for his show before it was replaced it with that lame excuse for TV filler the Tony Danza Show. (Once again lame unseen executives at work: Hey let’s take off a real funny, creative, young, Emmy Award winning guy, and replace him with some lame, past his prime, old, face lifted re-run)

Anyway the day they taped and re-taped with Wayne Brady she was Regan and had a name tag to prove it. We have a tape. Today her name tag said Jenny but she said it is pronounced Rhonda. OK what ever.  We waited for her boat anyway.

Roses are red
Violets are Blue
Jenny is Schizophrenic
And Regan is Too.

Time for the Emperor to point out that this is Magic Kingdom. Twilight Zone is in the Studios. But the strangeness continues as it turns out to be some kind of reunion. On the same boat there is a bunch of obnoxious people in matching blue shirts, that’s how you could tell they were more of our friends from the internet. (Obnoxious AND matching shirts,  We covered that in the Whispering Canyon episode remember? try to keep up! ) In truth they were not any more obnoxious than we were, not that that is saying anything. They did have matching shirts. Zurgswife says it was Brian and family and said some screen online names that went right over my head.

I got to confess. I can’t remember names, let alone correlate the real names and online names for people I can’t associate a face with. Then I meet them and the face doesn’t look like the signature clip art, which inmost cases is a plus, I mean I really don’t look  a lot like the BadShoe.com pin I use for a signature. So I really shouldn’t expect other people to look like the moose in a hot tub or what ever it is they use.

It is mid morning and the Diabetics need some snackage. Food is a good thing right now so we cruise into Cosmic rays for French Fries.  Here is a little regular’s observation. Ray’s has good fries. I noticed the serving has gotten smaller. I didn’t notice them being any cheaper.

Yes once again! The un-seen ones are hard at work: See will get new containers that are smaller, but with colored printing on them. We’ll save on fries but pay more for the fancy containers so we better raise the price to pay for my bonus for improving the guest experience. Morons!

Does anyone think the un-seen ones ever set foot in the park like a guest? Oh sure you may see groups of suits walking around holding clip boards, huddled for the protection of the herd to protect them from being attacked by guests in electric wheel chairs, but think they ever buy fries, or wait in a line? Not a chance in hell (or Universal which the un-seen ones think is the same thing as hell.)

Belle’s Story time place is jammed with TV stuff. I guess they are taping something for the parade. That’s were we met Jenny/Regan back when she was Rhonda. She was Belle’s helper. She took us on rides with Belle. I gotta tell ya there is nothing as cool as going on rides with a character. 

Not happening today; TV geeks all over the place, Disney suits herded around the TV geeks. Blair is trying to trade pins with the suits. The suits are almost spooked into a stampede by the experience. But some rank and file Cast Member calm the suits down and trade with Blair. He is on Stitch pin mission and no lanyard goes unchecked.

We head over to ride Buzz Lightbeer.  Delaney starts talking to a trash can. One of the other kids is feeling a little off but before I register that little fact in my head Delaney is in a full blow conversation with the trash can that had been following her. It may be a cousin of Bee Bop over at AK.

A few years ago Delaney and Bee Bop were an item. Bee Bop said Delaney was his girl friend. Did he write? No. Call? No. Now she is getting followed around by his cousin like there is no history. I don’t know about these talking trash cans.

The pictures sure look stupid. Here we are at Disney World. This is my kid posing with a trash can. It talked… and moved… I swear…

Roses are red
Violets are Blue
Talk about Jenny?
I’m sounding Schizophrenic too.

We got to Buzz after an extensive conversation with an piece of ambulatory janitorial equipment. No I;m not nuts, not at all. 

We ride. I show Alisha where to shoot. I am sure she will tell her grand children some day that she rode Buzz with the Emperor.  NOT!

Quality parenting here! It never dawned on me that Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger SPIN would make a kid feel sicker. I was taking a picture of Blair and Stitch outside Buzz when it turns out that “feeling a little off” is more like throwing up. Where’s Mr. Talking Trash Can now when he could be useful?

Disney is real quick to send someone with a mop, amazingly quick.

Later I would find out that all the best parents have a kid hurl at Magic Kingdom*. How ever I didn’t know that at the time. We needed to head back to our suite at Boardwalk Villas for some recovery and lunch.

We said goodbye to Alisha and headed up front to not get our free 5x7.

In review:
We split the family up to open the park because someone thinks perfect families should be four or five people max. We didn’t see Steve - who doesn’t exist, Got ourselves on a boat ride with a skipper who, while bordering on Cybil, was great fun in all her personalities, and met a hand full of internet freaks, were stalked by a talking trash can, blew chunks, didn’t get a free picture and despite the best efforts of the unseen ones had a great morning.

* Post Script:

My whacko online friends over at the Lodge had this to ad:

Pinkflamingo wrote: This is the honest truth AND since I managed to get two of mine sick at the same time, I'm the world's best ever parent
TxDizAg wrote: If one's child hurls in Epcot instead of MK, does that make one an "almost best parent"?
Delswife wrote: I had one puke in two parks. Does that make a me super parent?
Loubon wrote: No but it does require you to get a Puke Hopper Pass.
drclaws wrote:...and if you manage it in all four parks in one day....it's the Ultimate Puke Hopper!

Del and Em review the universal sign for "I'm going to puke."

Love Ya / Mean It and BadShoe.com Pins

Tony, Delaney, Connor - Love Ya / Mean It

Robin & Del, Kimball & Bennet (aka Delswife & Scuba Steve, Zurgswife & Zurg) are proud to announce two unique limited edition trading pins to benefit research to help find cures for Juvenile Diabetes and Muscular Dystrophy.

We love going to Disney World and writing funny trip reports, after all it is how we became friends.  We care just as much or more about helping these two great causes. All the profits from pin sales will go to JDRF and MDA because, well, Robin thought it would be a fun idea.

So if you enjoy the trip reports please chip in and buy a pin or two. Pins are $10.00 each including shipping and handling (North America.) Send an email to pins@badshoe.com with how many pins you would like and we will get the pins rolling. The BadShoe.com pins have sold out. Existing orders are being filled but we can't take anymore BadShoe.com pin orders, sorry. There still Love Ya /  Mean it Pins (there were more to start.) 

If you feel inspired click either MDA or JDRF's logo or both and make additional contributions.