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LY/MI

Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation and

and Muscular Dystrophy Association.
 

 

 

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Trip Reports at the Lodge

Copyright © 2004, 2005 Robin Costello. All rights reserved.

Back Story
DOGS

I think I meet more dogs in a week than a veterinarian. I love dogs; I am defiantly a dog person. I have a cat that acts like a dog, which is why she is allowed to live here.

My cat that acts like a dog is named ‘piggie’ but that’s a different story.

What surprises me sometimes is how so many people don’t know anything about their own dogs. I have been bit by two different dogs three times.

The first dog was a Doberman pincher. When I pulled into his driveway, his owner who was standing in the driveway said “Don’t worry, he’s just loves people.”

I thought I was people, so I got out of my car.

I have a scar on my knee that proves I am in fact an alien from outer space.

No wonder self tanners turn me orange.

The second dog bit me twice. She was a yappy little poodle. I handed her owner the food, the dog jumped up and bit me in the hand.

I wish we could have left it at that, however, the owner was in ‘bite denial’ insisting that her yappy little poodle couldn’t have possibly bit me, so the little yappy fur ball bit me in the back of the leg to prove me right.

Thanks pup.

I know a few dogs in this town personally now. There is a German Shepard that when he sees me, he jumps on me, putting his front paws on my shoulders so we are eye level.

The first time he did it, he almost knocked me over backwards. I brace myself for it now.

So there we stand, him looking deep into my eyes while we wait for his owner to open the door.

I think the dog thinks he’s holding me so I won’t leave with the food. Or he is trying to console me because the tip at that house isn’t that great.

Then there’s Maggie. Maggie is a beautiful Lab that waits for me in the window. When her owner opens the door, Maggie steps out, receives her pat on the head and goes back inside. She is the perfect dog.

But there is one dog I will never forget. This poor pup was traumatized by me. I still feel bad about it.

This is the dog I head butted.

I didn’t set out to head butt him; it was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Back a few months ago, we still had quite a bit of ice on the ground and it was raining. There is nothing in this world more slippery than wet ice. I had a huge order going to a house where the owners were just moving in.

I was carrying 8 pizzas in hot bags and hanging from my right wrist in a bag I had 2 2-liter bottles of soda.

It was very heavy and I was sliding every step I took. I managed to lean against the moving truck and slide my way to the front door.

So far, so good, right?

When I got to the front door, there were maybe 10-15 people there. They were hungry and very pleased to see me. So pleased in fact that one guy grabbed the bag with the 2 2-liters of soda from my wrist causing me to lose grip of the hot bags with the 8 pizzas.

Do you know what happens when you drop 8 pizzas sideways? They become calzones.

In an attempt to save the pizzas I threw my right leg up to catch them.

This is a bad idea when you are standing on linoleum with wet shoes.

The impact of my butt landing on the floor caused the windows to shake and a photo on the wall fell to the floor.

I made it across a slippery, wet, ice covered driveway, only to fall onto the floor. Lovely.

There I sat, 8 pizzas in my lap, praying to God that the photo wasn’t in a stud.

Now for what felt like an eternity, I sat there with 8 pizzas in my lap and all those people staring at me in disbelief. Once the shock of my performance wore off, two people took the pizzas out of my lap.

And I proceeded to drop my head into my hands, or at least tried to.

That’s when I head butted their dog. He had come over to investigate what I was doing on his floor.

When a human (or alien) head makes contact with a K-9 head, it makes a pretty loud “Klonk” noise.

Of course I did that while people were still staring at me. It was my grand finale.

The guys I work with thought this story was a riot, but the most important thing they wanted to know was, did I get a tip.

Yup, 10 bucks.

So, the next time you order take out, should your driver collapse onto your floor and head butt your dog, you’ll know he is fishing for a tip.
 

Love Ya / Mean It and BadShoe.com Pins

Tony, Delaney, Connor - Love Ya / Mean It

Robin & Del, Kimball & Bennet (aka Delswife & Scuba Steve, Zurgswife & Zurg) are proud to announce two unique limited edition trading pins to benefit research to help find cures for Juvenile Diabetes and Muscular Dystrophy.

We love going to Disney World and writing funny trip reports, after all it is how we became friends.  We care just as much or more about helping these two great causes. All the profits from pin sales will go to JDRF and MDA because, well, Robin thought it would be a fun idea.

So if you enjoy the trip reports please chip in and buy a pin or two. Pins are $10.00 each including shipping and handling (North America.) Send an email to pins@badshoe.com with how many pins you would like and we will get the pins rolling.

If you feel inspired click either MDA or JDRF's logo or both and make additional contributions.